Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Oh My God, I Love Your Accent, Where Are You From?


That was the tagline on the profile of my one and only Match.com date in the last six weeks.

Intriguing, though, to be sure. Further investigation revealed this gentleman to be 28, educated, solidly employed (with a salary of $75,001-$100,000 no less, although I do not understand why some people actually list that) and a lack of kids (lets face it, this is NOT a given anymore!).

Another bonus: The guy can write and clearly has a sense of humor, as his "recent passions include creating iPhone applications, mastering my Spaghetti Bolognese recipe, completing 100 push ups in a row and jumping from wake to wake while wake-boarding."

But the most exciting thing - you didn't forget that accent, did you? - He's from Ireland! Which, admittedly, was a lot more exciting until I thought to check a map and remembered that Ireland, unfortunately, is NOT part of the UK. Why does this matter? Because I desperately want to move to London, and as a kindly alum from the University of Missouri recently pointed out in response to a query for advice, my best hope of doing this is to marry a Brit.

So, convinced this was going to be my future husband (I hadn't checked the map yet), I happily agreed to meet him for a drink.

We initially agreed on Rockit Bar, which immediately had me questioning my future husband's choice of hang-outs. Although I've never been there, for some reason I have this picture in my head of it as a d-bag magnet, so my excitement was mildly dimmed over by the idea that this was his go-to first date spot.

Luckily, he texted a couple of hours before we were to meet and suggested a change of venue to McCormick & Schmicks - things were looking up! Granted, this brought up concerns (which turned out to be very real) that he'd want to do dinner instead of just drinks, and I always prefer to stick with just a beverage on the first night, but on the flip side I figured he must have re-thought just how excited he was to meet me.

I happily walked the short distance from work to the restaurant, convinced this would be a match made in heaven that I would be recounting years later for our kids and grandkids.

SCREEEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Or so the daydream in my head went the moment I met Ireland boy. I should have known that anyone whos posts only a single picture with their profile, and one that's truly a "profile pic" at that, isn't very likely to make me weak at the knees. "But looks aren't everything," I firmly told myself. And it's true - I really do think a person gets more attractive the more you get to know them.

But then he opened his mouth - and sadly, while a very pleasant person, we just did NOT click. To make things worse, as we were making awkward small talk about what to order (he clearly had no idea how expensive the restaurant was and quickly settled on a bowl of soup!), I had a sudden flashback of a near perfect date at the same restaurant (read about it here).

Needless to say, my hopes of being married and living in London this time next year have been squashed. Oh, well. There's always the company exchange program!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A Different Breed Of Men

In a recent meeting at work, someone described the social media voice of a client as a Midwestern cross between the Brawny man and Conan O'Brien – except, apparently the client disagreed with the picture that was presented. Supposedly, the strapping young men in the area aren’t as attractive as what we put forward.

To which I thought, “WHAT?!” Who wears flannel better than a homegrown, boy-next-door type from somewhere in the Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois triangle? (As a random side note, check out one of my favorite YouTube videos here, in which flannel is prominently featured during a parody of Katy Perry's California Gurls.)

However, the client had a point - there does seem to be something a little off with the boys in Chicago. Specifically, a lack of interest in girls. Or at least me!

In an attempt to meet new people when I first moved here last year, I quickly joined Match.com - but despite dozens of winks and emails to the "supposedly" eligible bachelors (I'm convinced some of the better-looking possibilities are actually dummy profiles that have been planted to help keep you interested) in my area, I ended up with only a single date over the course of a month. Some of you may think this is all that can be expected from online dating, and that in fact, a single date with a decent guy in four weeks is actually a good track record.

However, I know better. When my roommates and I were at the height of our Match.com-ing in DC (think Monday nights spent on the couch with our laptops open to better compare potential matches while watching The Bachelor), I would occasionally have two to three dates - per week!

At the time, I chalked it up to the fact that we were in the middle of the holiday season. After all, from a strategic perspective, who wants to risk the possibility of having to Christmas shop for someone you've only known two weeks?

But now that it's August, and I'm having the same problem, I realize there must be something more going on. You could make the argument that during the summer, everyone is out and about happily meeting (and hooking-up) easily enough between happy hours, weekends at the beach, etc. Except that summer is winding down, and still no uptick in dates. And it's not just dates - it's responses in general. In the last six weeks, I've had a total of four qualified men email or wink at me (and by qualified, I do not mean they meet all my standard criteria - only that they're under the age of 40, and relatively nearby!).

So what gives? Are the men in Chicago just not as active in the online dating scene? Definitely a possibility, given that so many in this city seem to have moved here as a group with their college friends, limiting the necessity to expand their social circle (as opposed to DC, where everyone's looking for new partners-in-crime). But that can't be the only reason. If anything, there seem to be far more boys - particularly cute and gainfully employed ones - on the site in Chicago than there were out East.

Which leaves me to wonder what's the story? Is Match.com in this city a hoax? Is eHarmony the way to go (if you can get through that questionnaire, more power to you!)? Are the men here really aliens disgused to look like nice Midwesterners?

Please share your theories - I really want to know! And I'll keep you posted on any new clues I discover as I sleuth around the Windy City.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

On The Prowl Again

That's right, I said it - I'm ready to do some man-hunting! Granted, it's been awhile and my instincts may be a little rusty, but I'm ready to put them to the test.

But hold that thought - first, you have my sincerest apologies for the months of silence. Turns out that getting acclimated to a new city takes a lot out of you, and when I can't blog at work anymore - because I actually have WORK to do - it's a lot harder to find the time to write!

To bring you up to speed since I last filled you in, sadly, things with DMV Boy did not have a fairy tale ending. Sadly, DMV boy did not turn out to be a match made in heaven. As lovely as the story was of how we met, it just wasn't meant to be. He DID call (call, mind you, not text!) and we hung out several times - he even made me dinner and scored us tickets to Conan O'Brien's writers' show last fall. In the end, though, he was just a little too vanilla/Minnesota nice. I know - sounds horrible, right? I'm NOT looking for a bad boy! But unless there was alcohol involved, the conversation was far from scintillating, and when added to the fact that it took 45 minutes to get to his house on public transportation, I decided to cut my losses sooner rather than later. He remains a gchat friend, but we haven't met up in awhile.

Since then, a lot and yet nothing at all has happened. I'll let you in on a secret - one of the perks of leaving DC (in addition to an amazing job opportunity and the chance to live in the Windy City) was leaving behind a bit of heartbreak. A drastic change of location certainly helps a girl move on - until the boy in question suddenly reappears again. Too make a very long story short, a relationship I thought I had left behind with all my furniture and other castoffs turned out not to be as over as I thought. Unfortunately, although this boy is someone I now consider to be a very dear friend, he remains the object of some unrequited affection. And although I've done my best to convince him otherwise, repeatedly stressing how CRAZY he must be for not wanting to give things a go, it's time to truly leave the past in the past.

Which leaves me ready to take Chicago by storm! To that end, I'm meeting and greeting all over the city. To further hedge my bets, I've also joined Match.com again - after all, 1 in 5 relationships now begin online (or so their ads proudly proclaim!). At the very least, I'm hoping to expand my circle of Midwestern friends. Although I love my co-workers, a girl occasionally needs some non-Type A, less than uber-organized, self-professed "not" planning fiends to hang out with on the weekends.

So keep reading in the coming months for what are sure to be some hilarious dating stories:).