Charlie's at it again - and I'm not sure I can translate his latest signals!As we watched a movie one night last week, I found myself suddenly cuddled up in his lap - not our typical M.O. And even more confusing, he was actually stroking my hair while Cary Elwes pranced about in "Robin Hood: Men in Tights."
And then it gets really interesting: when I start to make noises about it getting late, he says in this incredibly adorable little boy way that he doesn't want me to leave.
Sounds like he's potentially interested in being more than friends, right? I mean, the guy doesn't even like to cuddle!
So we move into the bedroom - again, not at all weird for me to crash there when it's after dark, since his parking lot creeps me out - and he proceeds to engage in some hardcore spooning. But when he leans into kiss me - GASP! - I stop him. We've been down this road before and we both know we don't really make good friends with benefits. Someone (meaning me) always seems to end up disappointed and hurt.
Instead, I explain this to him and when greeted with silence tentatively add, "Unless there's something you're not telling me?" Yep, more crickets. So I start to chatter on about something else and when I stop to take a breath he makes another comment about wanting me to stay.
So I do.
And when we both wake up in the middle of the night, he leans over and says good-night with a kiss on the forehead and a quick peck on the lips.
What does all this mean??!! If I was sending someone these signals, obviously I'm interested in him. But Charlie seems to engage in some weird dialect of man-speak that even my other guy friends can't fully understand.
I believe you need to have the, "What's up?" speech with him. In this talk, you will need to get a yes or no on his motivation for a relationship, or rather, where's is this going. You can say it in an empathetic way by suggesting simply being in this gray area with no clear distinction puts you in a tail spin. If he is empathetic, he will understand this tail spin stresses and confuses you, and no one really benefits. If he reacts defensively or invades the issue, then you have your answer: time to move on.
ReplyDeleteUnless you want all the benefits of hooking up without a committment, then this status quo needs no action.
Regarding the peck and good night comment, what he experience was the wall you put up when he made the move for imtimacy. He didn't want to advance forward with hooking up because you made it clear that was not what you wanted. You wanted something more.
P.S. The "What's Up" speech is not an easy one. you have to be prepared for an answer you don't like. If you avoid it all together, you might know the answer to begin with...
ReplyDeleteThanks! Like the reference to the "What's Up" speech, which would then be separate from the Defining the Relationship talk.
ReplyDelete