Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Oh My God, I Love Your Accent, Where Are You From?


That was the tagline on the profile of my one and only Match.com date in the last six weeks.

Intriguing, though, to be sure. Further investigation revealed this gentleman to be 28, educated, solidly employed (with a salary of $75,001-$100,000 no less, although I do not understand why some people actually list that) and a lack of kids (lets face it, this is NOT a given anymore!).

Another bonus: The guy can write and clearly has a sense of humor, as his "recent passions include creating iPhone applications, mastering my Spaghetti Bolognese recipe, completing 100 push ups in a row and jumping from wake to wake while wake-boarding."

But the most exciting thing - you didn't forget that accent, did you? - He's from Ireland! Which, admittedly, was a lot more exciting until I thought to check a map and remembered that Ireland, unfortunately, is NOT part of the UK. Why does this matter? Because I desperately want to move to London, and as a kindly alum from the University of Missouri recently pointed out in response to a query for advice, my best hope of doing this is to marry a Brit.

So, convinced this was going to be my future husband (I hadn't checked the map yet), I happily agreed to meet him for a drink.

We initially agreed on Rockit Bar, which immediately had me questioning my future husband's choice of hang-outs. Although I've never been there, for some reason I have this picture in my head of it as a d-bag magnet, so my excitement was mildly dimmed over by the idea that this was his go-to first date spot.

Luckily, he texted a couple of hours before we were to meet and suggested a change of venue to McCormick & Schmicks - things were looking up! Granted, this brought up concerns (which turned out to be very real) that he'd want to do dinner instead of just drinks, and I always prefer to stick with just a beverage on the first night, but on the flip side I figured he must have re-thought just how excited he was to meet me.

I happily walked the short distance from work to the restaurant, convinced this would be a match made in heaven that I would be recounting years later for our kids and grandkids.

SCREEEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Or so the daydream in my head went the moment I met Ireland boy. I should have known that anyone whos posts only a single picture with their profile, and one that's truly a "profile pic" at that, isn't very likely to make me weak at the knees. "But looks aren't everything," I firmly told myself. And it's true - I really do think a person gets more attractive the more you get to know them.

But then he opened his mouth - and sadly, while a very pleasant person, we just did NOT click. To make things worse, as we were making awkward small talk about what to order (he clearly had no idea how expensive the restaurant was and quickly settled on a bowl of soup!), I had a sudden flashback of a near perfect date at the same restaurant (read about it here).

Needless to say, my hopes of being married and living in London this time next year have been squashed. Oh, well. There's always the company exchange program!

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