A clean break is best, right?
Of course, I do still have his work number, and his new landline, in my phone book but I've only ever called those in emergencies. So that's not the same thing, right? I mean, I've still cut him out of my life. Even if I do have his cell phone number written down on a post-it and tucked inside my wallet.
Or, so I thought. No sooner had I deleted him, than he suddenly reached out to me. It's as if he has a sixth sense letting him know when I've reached the breaking point, and it's time to reel me back in.
And, of course, I fell for it. At least, the first two times. Which inevitably ends up with me going out of my way to meet him somewhere, having a great time, spinning all kinds of daydreams in my head the next day about why it's different now, and then crashing back to earth when it's not.
But now, I'm done. For good.
It's not that Charlie's a jerk (or any of the other far more hostile euphemisms my friends prefer to use). He's honestly a good guy - he just happens to be toxic for me (yes, as in a bubbling green goo that eats you from the inside out) because I've been unable to accept the classic "He's Just Not That Into You" situation he presents.
Regardless of whether I'm in a crush stage with Charlie at any given moment, at one point I considered him my best friend in DC, and I'm not ok with the transition we've made to casual acquaintances who hang out once a month.
Thus, the reason he's able to have such a mind-altering effect on my day. I'm always hoping "this time" it will be back to the way it was. But I know now, in the infinite wisdom gained from being shot down again and again over a year, that sometimes you can't fix things just because you want to.
Definitely a good thing he's been deleted. Good-bye, Charlie.
