Friends...or More?

I moved to the DC area three years ago not really knowing anyone. Sure, there was the odd acquaintance who was a friend of a friend or my mother's cousin type of thing, but for the most part, I was on my own.

Until I met my friend Charlie*.

We ran into each other for the first time at Clarendon Ballroom while I was waiting in line at the bar. He was with a bunch of guys, and as I stood behind them, he introduced himself by offering to buy me a drink - if I'd give his friend a birthday kiss! I laughed, but his smile was so adorable and the pick-up line so original, I ended up talking to him for the rest of the night.

At first, we flirted with dating, but it just didn't seem right. Instead, we started hanging out occasionally - platonically. Over the next several months, I started to think of him as one of my best friends in DC. Everything was just so comfortable - we'd watch movies, make dinner and spend most weekends on the golf course. If I was over late, it was easier to just crash at his house than go home to mine. He was my Dawson - with some casual benefits thrown in on the side if neither of us was seeing anyone else (so maybe it wasn't entirely platonic)!

About a year ago, we started circling around the idea of dating again, but neither of us was willing to say we were interested in the other. And then, one day, Charlie suddenly had a girlfriend and dumped me as a friend.

"I thought it would be awkward for you," he said. For me? Why? We'd always been buddies more than anything else - it didn't bother me that he was dating someone other than me, but I was incredibly hurt that he didn't want to spend time together anymore.

We crossed paths a few months later at Sign of the Whale during Nightmare on M Street. He was dressed as a cow (I was Jem from Jem and the Holograms), single again, incredibly drunk and out of nowhere asked me why we were never a couple. "We would have been perfect together!" he said.

WHAT?! Where did that come from?

I was seeing someone else at the time, so nothing came of it then. And it took me several more months to get over all the anger I felt about the way he severed our friendship. But then, a few weeks ago we were hanging out late one night and suddenly I felt differently. Not only was I having fun, but I wanted to jump the guy! (Something of a 180 for me - I've always thought Charlie was really cute, but the spine-tingling feeling was always been missing before.)

Over the next three weeks, I tried to tell Charlie that I liked him. There were going to be no missed signals this time around! But something always came up and the timing just didn't seem right.

Then this weekend, as Lauren and I made mac and cheese after a night at Clarendon Grill, we collectively (and intoxicatedly) decided it was a GREAT idea for her to repeatedly call the guy she's seeing and for me to text Charlie my epiphany.

"On the off chance u haven't figured it out yet, i have a crush on u...just wanted to lay it on the table:)," I punched into my phone and hit send, before I could change my mind.

No response that night.

When the return text did come the next day, there was no reference to the baring of my soul (Ok, that's a little dramatic. I was actually somewhat indifferent at this point, but firmly believe in putting everything on the line so that I walk out of every situation knowing it's not my fault it didn't work).

So I texted again. A very, very long text. Which, of course, then encountered technically difficulties in getting through, so I had to split it into three separate messages and send all of those. His reaction? "I'm at work. I'll call you later."

That was Sunday. I'm thinking he's probably not interested, but the worst part is, who am I going to play golf with now? At least with Charlie, I could always be assured of winning and never had to worry about a bad shot because it was almost guaranteed his ball would be further in the woods than mine!

*Name changed in the event Charlie finds out about this blog - although, he should recognize his role in this tale!