The Socially Awkward

Have you ever been on a date and within the first 30 seconds, literally, realized it was a bad idea?

That's how my roommate would describe her experience last week. Like any veteran dater, Lauren* was unwilling to give up a Friday night for a first date (especially since she couldn't remember exactly where or when she'd met this guy), so she agreed to early drinks at Whitlow's before getting on with the rest of her evening.

Lauren's not what you'd call difficult to talk to - the exact opposite in fact. She's super bubbly and friendly, and is one of those people that just invites conversation. Granted, with her long blonde hair, preppy style and swimmer's body (D1 college athlete!), I could see where she might be intimidating to some guys. But she's an elementary school teacher - she's able to communicate with even the most emotionally stunted.

Apparently, the moment they sat down, though, Lauren's date began to pepper her with a series of questions rather than having a conversation - we can only assume he was doing his best to avoid the dreaded awkward silence. After covering everything from favorite movie, food and bar in rapid succession, he moved onto the less obvious.

"Do you know what the five German car brands are?" he asked.

Lauren was familiar with BMW, having spent some time near the plant in South Carolina while growing up, but didn't really care beyond that. So she changed the subject.

Big mistake. Investigative reporter guy was not to be deterrred. After a few minutes spent on another topic, he said, "Well, just in case you were wondering, the five brands are..." (I don't know all the manufacturers, and since Lauren was no longer really listening at that point, she was unable to relay them to me while telling this story).

He continued his line of questioning by asking Lauren if she knew of any other ice breakers, and she asked what his favorite color was. "Uh, I don't really have one," he said.

Her response: "You're asking me about German cars, and you can't even tell me what your favorite color is?"

She said afterward it was like being at an interview for a job she didn't want.

I think we can say this guy is safely in the barnacle category on the "Levels of Crustacean Love."

• *Names have been changed to protect the subject's identity, and more importantly, the ego of the bad date, should he or his friends read this.